I’ve survived toxic workplaces. I’ve burned out. I’ve done my time on the “Dark Side” of work. Most of it traces back to one fundamental mistake: I drank the company Kool-Aid.
I believed mission statements like scripture. I put the “cause” first and my health last. I stayed up late polishing decks no one read and sprinted on “urgent” work built for optics—so someone could tell their boss they “did something.” No customer in sight. No measurement. Just vanity metrics and politics.
The most common flavor of this Kool-Aid is the phrase, “We’re a family here.” It’s a tempting drink, but it’s a lie. And we just got a stunning reminder of that truth.
The “Family” Lie Gets Exposed
Recently, a memo from the CEO of AT&T went viral for stating bluntly what corporate leaders have always believed: company loyalty is a one-way street. This isn’t a surprise. In a market where talent isn’t scarce, the truth is revealed. I saw it after the 2008 financial crisis, and we’re seeing it again now. In a job market like this, a leader’s true colors shine through.
Let’s be clear: a company is not a family. It’s a commercial relationship that ends the moment you stop creating incremental value. That isn’t cynical—it’s clarity. Acknowledging this transactional nature is the first step to protecting yourself from emotional over-investment and burnout.
The New Flavor of Kool-Aid: AI Hype
This Kool-Aid isn’t just served in the office kitchen; it’s being bottled and sold across our entire industry. And if you’ve been around for a while, the playbook feels eerily familiar. I’ve watched this pattern repeat for two decades: the dot-com bubble promising a new economy, the social media wave that was supposed to connect us all, the mobile-first revolution that put a computer in every pocket. Each wave brought legitimate innovation, but it also came with a tidal wave of hype that washed out those who couldn’t distinguish promise from reality.
The current AI hype cycle is just the latest chapter, and we’re already seeing the classic signs:
- Tech stocks taking a nosedive this week as the initial AI euphoria wears off and the market demands actual results.
- Industry leaders like Sam Altman openly admitting we are in an AI bubble after a new report by researchers at MIT, first covered by Fortune, found that a staggering 95 percent of attempts to incorporate generative AI into business so far are failing.
- An under-the-radar Apple research paper that quietly revealed significant flaws in the reasoning abilities of today’s AI models.
I’ve lived this. The gap between slick demos and successful enterprise deployments is vast. We’re being told to drink the AI Kool-Aid without question, but we must approach it with healthy skepticism. Be open to new ideas, but always test, run small experiments, and demand proof before going “all in.” Always ask what the true motivation is. It’s usually about making money, not solving your specific problem.
This warning against blind faith has a dark and tragic origin.
Where “Drinking the Kool-Aid” Really Comes From
The phrase originates from the 1978 Jonestown massacre, a horrific event where more than 900 members of the Peoples Temple cult died in a mass murder-suicide orchestrated by their leader, Jim Jones. The followers drank a flavored powdered drink laced with cyanide. While pop culture remembers it as Kool-Aid, the drink used was primarily Flavor Aid. The phrase became a powerful, grim metaphor for blindly accepting an ideology or direction, even when it’s demonstrably harmful. It’s a warning rooted in a real, tragic historical event.
Don’t Follow Anyone Blindly
This isn’t just about work. The pressure to conform, to follow without question, exists everywhere. We’re told to trust leaders—political, religious, or corporate—without doing our own due diligence.
This lesson became painfully clear in my own life. I’ve written before about leaving a controlling marriage. For years, I followed a path that wasn’t my own, trying to fit into a “power couple” image that required me to sacrifice my own well-being for someone else’s ambition. I mistook their obsession with luxury cars and keeping up with the Joneses for a drive I should admire, rather than the red flag it was. I followed, and I lost myself in the process.
This lesson isn’t just for our personal lives; we see it playing out in public, too. Pamela Anderson’s recent transformation struck a chord with me. For decades, her identity was largely defined for her by the media and public expectation—a persona built for consumption. Now, by choosing to appear without makeup and speak in her own unfiltered voice, she’s doing something radical: she’s reclaiming her own story. It’s a powerful, public rejection of the “Kool-Aid” of external expectations, and a masterclass in defining success and beauty on your own terms.
When you blindly drink the beverage that is poured in front of you—whether it’s a corporate mission, a political ideology, or a partner’s expectations—you give up the most important things you have: your ability to think critically and your own agency.
Don’t lose or abuse that precious gift.
The Antidote: The Hierarchy That Keeps You Sane
At my first agency, Freestyle Marketing Group, our creative director, Jason Harrison, gave a branding talk using action figures. The brand was a small G.I. Joe. Our jobs were a bigger figure. Our families and health were the biggest. His point was a gut check I’ve returned to again and again: brand matters, but it isn’t the center of anyone’s life.
That metaphor saved me. It’s the foundation for setting boundaries that aren’t about disloyalty, but about building a sustainable career and a life you actually want to live.
Here’s how to build your immunity:
- Redefine “Family” as “Team”: You are on a professional team. You work together towards a common goal, support each other, and hold each other accountable. But when the game is over, you go home to your real family.
- Interrogate the “Mission”: If the company’s mission consistently requires your nights and weekends by default, it’s not a mission; it’s mismanagement. Don’t sacrifice your life to make someone else’s comp plan sing.
- Focus on Reality, Not Optics: Challenge arbitrary deadlines set by leadership. Ship because a customer needs it and you can prove it mattered. Don’t worship vanity metrics; if you’re not running proper experiments to measure impact (like holdout, geo, or flighting tests), you’re just guessing.
- Remember Your Job is a Vehicle, Not Your Identity: Your work is a tool that helps you build the life you want. It is not your entire life. Your family, your health, and your peace of mind are the largest action figures on the table. Period.
- Reward Subtraction: Not everything is truly important. Focus on tasks that deliver the most leverage and impact. You are not a bad teammate for protecting your weekends. Frame your boundaries with clarity: “Here’s what we can accomplish with our current capacity. Choosing to do X means we must pause Y.” True leaders will respect this; toxic ones won’t.
The hierarchy Jason’s action figures taught me is the truth that keeps you sane:
Brand < Job < Family/Health
When you forget that, you drift into hype, politics, and burnout. When you remember, you build things that help people—and protect the people building them, including yourself.
See you next month, Seth
Your turn: Where have you been asked to drink the Kool-Aid? What woke you up? Comment below or DM me; I’d love to feature a few (anonymized) stories in the future 😉.
On Transparency, Tools, and Trust
In the spirit of transparency, I always believe in showing my work. The lessons in this newsletter are deeply personal—especially the core story about the action figures from my friend and mentor, Jason Harrison, whom I recently honored in a MicroMentor tribute.
This piece itself was a process of not drinking my own Kool-Aid. It went through several iterations. I partnered with Google’s Gemini 2.5 Pro as a thought partner, using it to challenge my initial concepts and then to help refine the structure and flow, ensuring my voice remained front and center.
The creative direction was mine, from the concept of the three “Kool-Aid” glasses (the colors mean something to me 😉) to the idea for the action figure art. For the practical application, I used Adobe Firefly to generate both of those key images, which saved me hours time in Photoshop and scouring stock photo sites for base imagery.
My philosophy remains the same: Don’t just talk about the AI hype—get your hands dirty. The only way to truly understand these tools and cut through the noise is to use them. 🤓
